Are both men and women crazy gadget freaks, or is it just the men who get crazier about their cool gadgets. With more men spending time with their gadgets than enjoying with their better halves, tech tools are the new culprits of wrecked relationships today.
The story as told by an untold gal...."I certainly am not going to repeat the mistake that I did last year. It was a make-up gift to patch up a huge fight we'd had then. I had to shell out that hard cash to make him happy with his latest obsessed gadget, the Blackberry! It caused a great stir then, that I regretted immediately. He was on his toes to fix it up, constantly glued to it, keeps my hands and eyes away from it as if he's hiding a little secret from me in it. It was like his mistress, and me his home-logged wife".
Now if you're empathising with her, join the league of dejected women today, who have become cyber widows.
For married couple or those in a serious relationship, a virtual seductress can cause great havoc in their relationships, bringing about distrust and negativity. This could be over a chat, an online dating, or even may be the famous Facebook-Twitter-friend. In most cases, it's the women who feel the brunt of it and this brings about misgivings. And the boys would always end up justifying, "What's wrong in having some fun?. It's not like i'm actually cheating on you, like the other million guys around me do to their better halves. I'm just having some lone-time, mean-fun when you are not around." Can any woman agree to this justification?
It's ironical that on one level technology keeps us connected with the world, but it is also isolating people from their partners. And the greatest impact of this social syndrome is on couple time together - causing emotional and social intimacy to take a backseat. Specially when just the two of you are having a quiet, peaceful time, and an unexpected IM pops up on your berries, and he starts getting all black-and-blue when you start noticing his gestures. There is nothing more uncomfortable than this situation. It is not just awkward for him, but also for her, because she is wondering who that might be, or what would be the topic of discussion.
An increasing number of seperations today are triggered by this. Social networking sites can be very taxing as they demand an exhausting emotional involvement. And, at the end of the day, we all have limited energies. Hence, after a man is emotionally drained elsewhere, he has little energy or inclination for his partner's company. Plus, the bedroom can become a hotbed for couple's quarrels. The man may not try and resolve things, but simply uses his laptop as an excuse and escapes the real world that he should be facing. For couples who are already on the breakpoint, this is the final nail in their coffin.
According to a recent article that I read, Networking tools such as Facebook, Twitter, etc are responsible for atleast a 20-30 per cent rise in divorce cases today. While the men refuse to believe they might be causing harm wit their 'attachment' to their gizmos, it is the women who are worried sick about it all. Also, in newly-married couple, there are cases of simple chats with an ex-partner that becomes a flirtatious relationship and causes mayhem. It's not just the women, but even men can be at the receiving end of this syndrome too.
Is there a ctrl+alt+z?
Not really, but victims and experts show a way out. "One can make rules like making sure one leaves a gadget out of the room". Some women may learn to live with being a cyber widow to keep the peace at home, because there is no sense competing with a machine.
It can be a little bugging if the guy constantly looks into his networking sites, chat updates, pop-up messages, etc. This is totally unchivalrous. But if its a one-time office or work emergency, the gentleman 'can' be pardoned as long as he can make up for it.
A few tips: For one, some conditions must be laid down, so people realise they just draw a line somewhere. They need to look at leisure time differently.
Men who can't stay away from their gadgets are not at ease with themselves and need to feel distracted. They pretend to feel this grandiosity - that they are all important and therefore must be in all places at one time - that needs to change.
- Based on an article extract from TOI
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